Things I wanna learn:
· Bharatnatyam
· kick-boxing
· singing
· lawn-tennis
· meditation
· first-aid
· stitching clothes
·
Things I know, I used to do, have discontinued, and wanna resume:
· skating
· swimming
· playing guitar
· painting
· table-tennis
· basket-ball
· reading
· yoga
· badminton
·
Things I do, but wanna do more often:
· jogging
· writing diary
· talk to friends
· laugh, have fun
· adventure sports/ camps
· spend time with myself, being silent & comfortable
· pray
·
Monday, September 1, 2008
As you enter the gate of my college
As you enter the gate of my college, you find a huge old fashioned building on your left: square rooms, unbarred windows running through the entire width of each, yellowing walls, threadbare, useless curtains (useless because no one ever draws them. In fact, they are mercilessly mauled into knots and squeezed between the window and its ever-open glass doors.) as you reach the end of this building, a mini-entrance marked by steel bars will welcome you to the main campus. Four or five steps, and you’ll see this beautiful ancient huge tree that you’ll instantly fall in love with. You’ll later learn that indeed you are not the first one smitten by it. Generations of XLers have lived their life about the tree, have dedicated their imagination and creativity to it, have lovingly named it Bodhi Tree,and have named the college band after it too.
This Bodhi Tree stands at cross roads: you can now take a turn to your left or right, or continue moving straight. We’ll move straight.
To your right shall be a blue building with a strange blue color which will stand out even after you have looked at it for almost 15months. You’ll know immediately that it hads to be a building of importance. And within a few days, you’ll be walking inside its dark, narrow, unlit, old-fashioned alleys to meet the Dean, give quizzes and exams, attend endless, meaningless, useless PPTs, submit assignments, negotiate for marks, and of course, the biggest of all, Summers and Placements.
But we are walking on the path outside, on the left side of which will lie your favourite spot of XLRI: JLT. It shall be green, fresh, inviting, beautiful and romantic. This is what will make one of the top B-Schhols of india a true blue (or green) college, with childish desires and youthful hearts.
At the end of JLT, you’ll take small left turn, and immediately, a small right turn. And you’ll be floored by how the campus looks more and more beautiful with each additional step. There shall be greenery everywhere. Hedges, trees, shrubs and manicured lawns will simply take your breath away. And they’ll comtinue to do so forever. They’ll forever compel you to walk this road dozens of times a day, slowly, everytime savouring its breathless beauty.
As you walk further on, and begin to wonder that you’ve entered an enchanted college from a medieval fantasy book, you see this strange building. It’ll be four stories high. It’ll be gray in colour. It’s top floor wall will be made of black tinted glass. You’ll gather your thoughts for a second, and wonder why the building looks strange? Aren’t all building today like that? And then you’ll remember. It looks strange because a “today’s normal building” has no place in the enchanted college from a medieval fantasy book that you are currentky strolling in.
As the days pass by, you’ll come in terms with one thing: that you’ll never come in terms with the sheer natural beauty of this place. It’ll strike you everytime as new, compel you to look at it for the second time, to wish the moment would just linger on forever. It shall be the same with this building. You’ll be striken with its strangeness, or rather, strange out-of-place-ness everytime you pass by it. One reason for that, of course, would be its enticing spiral staircase fenced by black iron rodson both sides, making it look like a multi-spiral, a mysterious object tugging your attention.
One fine evening (evenings in this place seldom turn into night. It’ll be evening till about 1 or 2 am, and then suddenly it’ll be morning!), when you’ll have finally delivered the deliverable of your running term, and when all your best buddies would’ve left for the sweet comfort of home, and when you’ll finally have time to sleep, you’ll decide to climb those spiral stairs. As you’ll reach the terrace, you’ll wonder why you don’t do it more often. As you land on the terrace, you’ll scold yourself for not doing this often. And as you leave several minutes later, you’ll resolve to do it more often.
Everything about that terrace would be wonderful. The clouds in the reach of your fingers. The gray smoke or Tata Motors made orange by the orange lights of Tata Motors. The black chimneys looking innocent and lonely. The twinkling stars. The vast expanse. The bird-view of entire city. The bird-view of your college. The soft, cool, refreshing, rejuvenating breeze. The belief that you can fly. The belief that I can fly.
I may have suffered some of the lowest moments of my life in this place. But it has taught me to accept myself, to love myself, to fight for myself, and to never say die. I can fly. Yes, I can fly.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Happy Hangover
We had a wet-night in our college on 16th: to celebrate Independence Day! And it was sponsored by a leading consultant and one of the most sought after recruiters of our campus (I avoid taking names because I’m not sure if the company wants the fact to be publicised). In layman’s language, that means just one thing, and one very important thing at that: Free Booze!!!
Knowing XL-culture and having lived with the resolute culture-upholders for almost 15 months now, I was pretty sure that petty things like submissions of Pray and Mad Shuks(nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever be more significant than booze…except free booze, i.e.) wouldn’t dampen anybody’s spirits (pun very much intended).
A sucker for dance parties that I am, at 1 o’clock, I pinged Rondu to accompany me to the wet-night. True to his character, he started bickering about how he still had a lot of work to do, and how his team-mates were just FRAXing, and how he was the only one working while others were sleeping, and how his ISE group is a mistake blah blah blah… so I told him that he could work for an hour, and then we’d go there, again just for an hour, and then he could come back and continue with his never-ending B-Plan. Surprisingly, he agreed within 15 minutes of pestering!
At 2, I pinged him again. I was half expecting him to back out. But he just asked for 10 more minutes. He did repeat his saga of woes before that :o) but then he came. And we went. And we joined Sanjay & Co. and we danced. The fervour was a bit low. It usually takes a few minutes to build up… then I had some whiskey. And then we danced some more. And then I had another shot. I was just in a mood to get drunk, to know how it feels, to be on a high. It’s heavenly. It makes you happy, sets you free, makes you much more of a fun person than you already are.
We were back by 4. I was totally drunk by then. I couldn’t walk straight. I kept falling off. I was laughing loudly. My voice was slurring. And I was totally happy and enjoying myself. Rondu dropped me on my door. I entered my room, stripped off all my clothes, put on my stupid stingy nightie, and dropped off on the bed.
In the wee hours of morning, nature urged me to wake up. And I realized I was not in a good shape. My head was spinning. I was pretty sure I would pass out. I thought about calling up My Friend, then decided against it. It would require me to change my clothes. I wasn’t capable of doing that. Heck! I wasn’t capable of peeing, I feared I’d pass out on the way itself. I didn’t know what to do. I got a bit worried. And I wished I had stuck to my original plan of getting drunk only with my husband/ boyfriend. That way, I’d have someone to watch out for me after the good phase of being drunk was over.
Anyways, what was done could not be undone. So I took a Combiflam (that’s what I take for my migraine), and decided to call Soumya if I needed any help. Hoping that I wouldn’t I went off to sleep. Thankfully, it didn’t take too much effort.
The entire next day (Yes, the entire next day. No exaggeration.) I had a hangover. But it was a mere reminder of what fun I had last night :o)
Knowing XL-culture and having lived with the resolute culture-upholders for almost 15 months now, I was pretty sure that petty things like submissions of Pray and Mad Shuks(nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever be more significant than booze…except free booze, i.e.) wouldn’t dampen anybody’s spirits (pun very much intended).
A sucker for dance parties that I am, at 1 o’clock, I pinged Rondu to accompany me to the wet-night. True to his character, he started bickering about how he still had a lot of work to do, and how his team-mates were just FRAXing, and how he was the only one working while others were sleeping, and how his ISE group is a mistake blah blah blah… so I told him that he could work for an hour, and then we’d go there, again just for an hour, and then he could come back and continue with his never-ending B-Plan. Surprisingly, he agreed within 15 minutes of pestering!
At 2, I pinged him again. I was half expecting him to back out. But he just asked for 10 more minutes. He did repeat his saga of woes before that :o) but then he came. And we went. And we joined Sanjay & Co. and we danced. The fervour was a bit low. It usually takes a few minutes to build up… then I had some whiskey. And then we danced some more. And then I had another shot. I was just in a mood to get drunk, to know how it feels, to be on a high. It’s heavenly. It makes you happy, sets you free, makes you much more of a fun person than you already are.
We were back by 4. I was totally drunk by then. I couldn’t walk straight. I kept falling off. I was laughing loudly. My voice was slurring. And I was totally happy and enjoying myself. Rondu dropped me on my door. I entered my room, stripped off all my clothes, put on my stupid stingy nightie, and dropped off on the bed.
In the wee hours of morning, nature urged me to wake up. And I realized I was not in a good shape. My head was spinning. I was pretty sure I would pass out. I thought about calling up My Friend, then decided against it. It would require me to change my clothes. I wasn’t capable of doing that. Heck! I wasn’t capable of peeing, I feared I’d pass out on the way itself. I didn’t know what to do. I got a bit worried. And I wished I had stuck to my original plan of getting drunk only with my husband/ boyfriend. That way, I’d have someone to watch out for me after the good phase of being drunk was over.
Anyways, what was done could not be undone. So I took a Combiflam (that’s what I take for my migraine), and decided to call Soumya if I needed any help. Hoping that I wouldn’t I went off to sleep. Thankfully, it didn’t take too much effort.
The entire next day (Yes, the entire next day. No exaggeration.) I had a hangover. But it was a mere reminder of what fun I had last night :o)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Jogging in the Rain
Sometimes, you have this vision in life. And you know that when you achieve it, you’ll be happy. You slog for it, work hard day and night. You make countless sacrifices. You designate spending time with family as petty matter in front of your Vision. You ignore your dearest friends, lose track of them. You read up stuff that makes no sense to you. You sleep late, or don’t sleep at all in order to accomplish the milestones towards your goals.
Sometimes, you take pleasure in your small achievements. But these small achievements are all in line with your Final Goal. They just reinforce that you have chosen the right path, and they propel you further.
Then one fine morning, you wake up and decide to go for a long, long walk. And as you step out, you find that the scene is breathtaking. The sky is cloudy. There is a pleasant breeze blowing. The campus is lush green and picture perfect. A smile spreads over your face and you remind yourself how you almost cancelled on your plan to walk thinking it might be too sunny outside. Mentally, you thank somebody (yourself, God, Nature…even you don’t know, and you don’t give it a thought either), and with a spring in your foot (literally), you start with your walk.
When you are still in your 3rd round, it starts drizzling. It feels good. In fact, it feels great. You are happy you came out today morning. By the end of it, it starts pouring heavily. You start jogging instead of walking. The rain, the greenery, the breeze, life itself seems to have induced new energy in you. You are enjoying every moment of this.
For a moment, just for a very small insignificant moment, you think of returning back to hostel. Btu then you rubbish the though and continue with your walk. Towards the end of 4th round, again you start jogging. It feels so good. It feels like heaven. And you realize, that it is these simple pleasures that give life more meaning, more happiness, more everlasting moments than perhaps anything else can.
Sometimes, you take pleasure in your small achievements. But these small achievements are all in line with your Final Goal. They just reinforce that you have chosen the right path, and they propel you further.
Then one fine morning, you wake up and decide to go for a long, long walk. And as you step out, you find that the scene is breathtaking. The sky is cloudy. There is a pleasant breeze blowing. The campus is lush green and picture perfect. A smile spreads over your face and you remind yourself how you almost cancelled on your plan to walk thinking it might be too sunny outside. Mentally, you thank somebody (yourself, God, Nature…even you don’t know, and you don’t give it a thought either), and with a spring in your foot (literally), you start with your walk.
When you are still in your 3rd round, it starts drizzling. It feels good. In fact, it feels great. You are happy you came out today morning. By the end of it, it starts pouring heavily. You start jogging instead of walking. The rain, the greenery, the breeze, life itself seems to have induced new energy in you. You are enjoying every moment of this.
For a moment, just for a very small insignificant moment, you think of returning back to hostel. Btu then you rubbish the though and continue with your walk. Towards the end of 4th round, again you start jogging. It feels so good. It feels like heaven. And you realize, that it is these simple pleasures that give life more meaning, more happiness, more everlasting moments than perhaps anything else can.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
For somebody, who’ll probably never read it
Vatsa said something in the MGC class today. And it seemed to me that he was giving words to my thoughts, reading my mind, understanding what nobody else was able to. It was one of those rare moments when all your faith in magic is suddenly reconstituted.
It was during the MGC class. We were studying a concept in which it was explained how important it is to build a shattered person’s confidence, because in absence of that the person ends up hurting himself eternally. And towards its end, Vatsa said that he just wanted to share a reflection.
“What about the people who are just the opposite of this? People who are very confident of themselves? They also need some counselling. But they never get it because they never approach anybody for it. And that is because they don’t know they need it. They are so sure of themselves. They think they are perfect in every sense. They believe that their reasoning, thoughts and opinions are flawless. Perhaps these people are not given counselling because they don’t hurt themselves. But they hurt others around them, others who may care for them and what they say. Because these people will demean everybody, even those who love them.”
It was during the MGC class. We were studying a concept in which it was explained how important it is to build a shattered person’s confidence, because in absence of that the person ends up hurting himself eternally. And towards its end, Vatsa said that he just wanted to share a reflection.
“What about the people who are just the opposite of this? People who are very confident of themselves? They also need some counselling. But they never get it because they never approach anybody for it. And that is because they don’t know they need it. They are so sure of themselves. They think they are perfect in every sense. They believe that their reasoning, thoughts and opinions are flawless. Perhaps these people are not given counselling because they don’t hurt themselves. But they hurt others around them, others who may care for them and what they say. Because these people will demean everybody, even those who love them.”
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Blue
Does it happen with everybody: feeling blue for no reason at all? I'm feeling like that today. I can myself notice that I'm not my usual chirpy self. I'm sad, quiet, non-argumentative (I know, that's the ultimate indicator :o))...just generally low on spirit and energy.
My Friend, the one who is my favourite topic of discussion these days, who even propelled me to write by first blog, is becoming more and more stubborn & irritating with every passing day. I fear that he is becoming senile. He argues about every single thing in this world. He can NEVER EVER agree with you. So much so, that sometimes he'll even contradict himself. He just has to argue with you, that's all. He's highly opinionated & judgemental. And the worst, he is so damn convinced of the fact that he can never be wrong! I know, most of us feel that way. But when faced with convincing logic and proof, we do bend a little, if not outrightly change our original stand. But My Friend the Great wouldn't dream of it! In fact, he openly says stuff like, "I'm a very rational person," and, "That's your perspective. But my perspective is different. And my perspective is correct."
I know, it is not good to be bitching about my "best friend", and that too in a public forum. But slowly, he's started bugging me. And i have a strong feeling that our friendship won't sustain longer than a month after college getting over. Sad, though. i have never taken losing friends easily. I mean, I should be used to it by now. Ever since Deepti just forgot about me after changing her school in class XI, giving an all together new meaning to the proverb "Out of sight: Out of mind", I have been through my share of loneliness, sadness, confusion, disillusionment etc etc etc. And now, whenever I start with a new venture, I simply remind myself that "life-long friendship" is what Bollywood movies and youthful promises are made of. But still, every time I lose a friend, I can't help wondering why. I spend endless nights trying to analyse the possible reasons, explaining the unexplainable. I mean, can there be any explanation for why life is unfair? It just is...
My Friend, the one who is my favourite topic of discussion these days, who even propelled me to write by first blog, is becoming more and more stubborn & irritating with every passing day. I fear that he is becoming senile. He argues about every single thing in this world. He can NEVER EVER agree with you. So much so, that sometimes he'll even contradict himself. He just has to argue with you, that's all. He's highly opinionated & judgemental. And the worst, he is so damn convinced of the fact that he can never be wrong! I know, most of us feel that way. But when faced with convincing logic and proof, we do bend a little, if not outrightly change our original stand. But My Friend the Great wouldn't dream of it! In fact, he openly says stuff like, "I'm a very rational person," and, "That's your perspective. But my perspective is different. And my perspective is correct."
I know, it is not good to be bitching about my "best friend", and that too in a public forum. But slowly, he's started bugging me. And i have a strong feeling that our friendship won't sustain longer than a month after college getting over. Sad, though. i have never taken losing friends easily. I mean, I should be used to it by now. Ever since Deepti just forgot about me after changing her school in class XI, giving an all together new meaning to the proverb "Out of sight: Out of mind", I have been through my share of loneliness, sadness, confusion, disillusionment etc etc etc. And now, whenever I start with a new venture, I simply remind myself that "life-long friendship" is what Bollywood movies and youthful promises are made of. But still, every time I lose a friend, I can't help wondering why. I spend endless nights trying to analyse the possible reasons, explaining the unexplainable. I mean, can there be any explanation for why life is unfair? It just is...
Monday, July 28, 2008
Second post
I was so glad when i started my blog yesterday. I thought it'll create a storm in the virtual world. Everybody will read it, talk about it, discuss it, post comments on it... Guess i was expecting too much too soon :(
Anyways, here is my second post. And though i don't have too much to write today, i really do hope i can find enough time to write regularly. I guess I was right after all; This blog is gonna be nothing but a combination of daily diary & idle ramblings. Too bad for the potential readers :o)
Anyways, here is my second post. And though i don't have too much to write today, i really do hope i can find enough time to write regularly. I guess I was right after all; This blog is gonna be nothing but a combination of daily diary & idle ramblings. Too bad for the potential readers :o)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
If this makes me a feminist, so be it...
Since last many days, I have been contemplating about writing a blog of my own. Various themes have crossed my mind:
· Daily diary
· Idle ramblings
· My theories on various important issues (political & otherwise)
· My feelings (yes sweetheart, it has all got to be about me, me, me)
…and other similar random stuff.
Of course, in the long run, the blog might turn out to be combination of all the above + much more. But still, it is important to have an awesome start. I mean, first impressions may not necessarily be the last, but their importance cannot be ignored nonetheless.
First of all, something about me…more of a warning for all you potential sufferers…
I talk a lot. In fact, I am a self-confessed chatter-box. I can talk on any topic I have any slightest idea about. And I doubt if there are many topics of which I don’t even have the slightest idea.
But in spite of the fact that I talk a lot, I think a lot too. People have sometimes accused me of thinking too much. I too believe that one mustn’t think that much…it kills joy out of life. And what is life without joy & fun?
Basically I am a fun-loving person. I love making new friends, and then talking with them endlessly…get to know them… I also love travelling, eating, sleeping, day-dreaming, cracking jokes, playing pranks, laughing etc etc etc…the list, as you can see, is endless.
But there are a few topics I’m very touchy about. You mention them, and you have me all charged up with clenched fists and red eyes and all that. And it is one of these touchy topics which someone happened to make light of in my presence today evening, finally nudging me into writing my first blog. (Phew! finally the idle ramblings begin…actually they began like 2 ages back…and it seems they’ll continue for at least as many more…)
The one thing that I have never understood is that why do people have to talk about stuff that they know nothing about. Take sexual harassment for example. Ok, let me start my story from a logical beginning. My friend and I were sitting in my room, having usual arbid discussions. And like it happens with all arbid discussions, we were jumping from one topic to another. We started with discussing why it is a failure on the part of our country’s “Intelligence” that 2 serial blasts were executed successfully in 2 different cities of India in 2 consecutive days. We moved onto how India is a huge country and how things are easier said than done. We also discussed how naturally the government & media put the entire suspicion on LeT. We touched upon the need of more effective cross-border policies to discourage infiltration. I don’t remember exactly how, but suddenly we were discussing dressing sense of some people. (I know…anything!!) I mentioned how one girl in our class was wearing shorts to classes, much against the rules. My friend, who I must confess is a complete MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig), stated that there is a need by the college administration to enforce a strict dress-code for girls. From here on, the dialogue went on as follows:
Me: Why only for girls, why not for all?
My Friend: See. This is the problem. You girls give each issue a gender connotation.
Me: I’m giving it a gender connotation?
MF: Of course. You are acting like a true feminist. What dress code can be enforced for guys? It has to be for girls only.
Me: All I’m saying is that a politically correct statement must be made. The rule-book must say, “Students are not allowed to wear shorts in classes” instead of, “Girls are not allowed to wear shorts in classes.”
MF: There is no need for that. Guys anyway don’t wear shorts to classes.
At this point, I had amused exclamation marks (use your imagination) running in my head. Till date, even girls were not wearing shorts to classes. What was the guarantee that in future guys won’t break the rule either? And what was the harm in enforcing a unisex rule anyway? I asked him this.
MF: That is not the point. The problem is that you girls have to complicate everything. You have to give gender connotations when none are required. There is nothing wrong in what I am saying.
Me: but I don’t see anything wrong in what I am saying either. Both guys and girls must be given equal treatment.
Now, in our hostel, the ground floor belongs to the girls while 4 floors above it are for guys. And a few days back, an issue had risen in our hostel that both the washing machines are on the guys’ floors, which we (girls) don’t find comfortable. So one of the machines was shifted to our floor. Guys were unhappy about it because going by numbers, they had more strength and hence needed to use the machine more often than us. They said that one machine wasn’t sufficient for them, and they definitely couldn’t come to our floor to wash their clothes. Discussions/ arguments regarding the same are still on. And my dear friend used this opportunity to bring this topic up.
MF: You girls always do that. On the one hand you talk about equality, and on the other, you take unfair advantage of your being girls. If you believe in equality so much then why did you get the washing machine shifted to your floor? You also know that going by number logic, the machines must be on 1st and 3rd floor so that everybody has equal approachability.
Me: I agree that logically speaking the machines should be on 1st and 3rd floor. But yaar, we have a hard time washing our clothes on your floors. The other day when I went up to wash my clothes, there were these guys in the corridor, who were totally drunk. I didn’t feel comfortable.
MF: see, you cannot bring this up. If you are talking about equality, you have to keep this topic aside.
This was all I needed to hear. I got all flared up. I gave him a hard stare and said this is not an issue to be “kept aside”. But he insisted that if we “supported” equality, we must do it completely and not hide behind the garb of sexual harassment every time.
Hide behind the garb! That is what guys think we do? They believe it is unreal! And that, when they themselves are guilty of doing it. How many times have their butts been pinched while they were window-shopping? How many of them have been groped in buses and trains? Do they have any idea how shocking, humiliating, embarrassing it is? Do they realize how it makes us feel every time something like this happens to us? Are they not aware of the fact that absolutely every girl has gone through a hundred traumas of different levels. Yes, I repeat, absolutely every girl. Some of us, from when were too young to understand what it meant. I can’t forget how horrified I was when 20-somethings pinched the nipples on my 8 year old body in that crowded market. Every face, every smell, every shop, every corridor is forever printed on my mind. And even now, when I think of it 18 years later, I’m filled with disgust and hatred for those two guys. I only hope they are dead and rotting in hell.
And he says we must keep this issue aside and then talk about equality. He says we are hypocrites to have separate seats on buses for women. He says we don’t have the guts to stand up against it and fight it.
I’ll see who he thinks must stand up against whom when his wife and daughter are being groped and rubbed on roads and public transports. And I’ll see how easily he lets go when a tattooed fat man breathes down his neck and kisses him against his wishes.
Till date, I used to think there are two categories of bad men:
1. The ones who do bad things
2. The ones who think bad things
I used to think that the rest, who don’t fall in any of the above two categories, though very few in number, are good. But today I realized that they are bad too. And what category do they fall under?
3. The ones who don’t care
· Daily diary
· Idle ramblings
· My theories on various important issues (political & otherwise)
· My feelings (yes sweetheart, it has all got to be about me, me, me)
…and other similar random stuff.
Of course, in the long run, the blog might turn out to be combination of all the above + much more. But still, it is important to have an awesome start. I mean, first impressions may not necessarily be the last, but their importance cannot be ignored nonetheless.
First of all, something about me…more of a warning for all you potential sufferers…
I talk a lot. In fact, I am a self-confessed chatter-box. I can talk on any topic I have any slightest idea about. And I doubt if there are many topics of which I don’t even have the slightest idea.
But in spite of the fact that I talk a lot, I think a lot too. People have sometimes accused me of thinking too much. I too believe that one mustn’t think that much…it kills joy out of life. And what is life without joy & fun?
Basically I am a fun-loving person. I love making new friends, and then talking with them endlessly…get to know them… I also love travelling, eating, sleeping, day-dreaming, cracking jokes, playing pranks, laughing etc etc etc…the list, as you can see, is endless.
But there are a few topics I’m very touchy about. You mention them, and you have me all charged up with clenched fists and red eyes and all that. And it is one of these touchy topics which someone happened to make light of in my presence today evening, finally nudging me into writing my first blog. (Phew! finally the idle ramblings begin…actually they began like 2 ages back…and it seems they’ll continue for at least as many more…)
The one thing that I have never understood is that why do people have to talk about stuff that they know nothing about. Take sexual harassment for example. Ok, let me start my story from a logical beginning. My friend and I were sitting in my room, having usual arbid discussions. And like it happens with all arbid discussions, we were jumping from one topic to another. We started with discussing why it is a failure on the part of our country’s “Intelligence” that 2 serial blasts were executed successfully in 2 different cities of India in 2 consecutive days. We moved onto how India is a huge country and how things are easier said than done. We also discussed how naturally the government & media put the entire suspicion on LeT. We touched upon the need of more effective cross-border policies to discourage infiltration. I don’t remember exactly how, but suddenly we were discussing dressing sense of some people. (I know…anything!!) I mentioned how one girl in our class was wearing shorts to classes, much against the rules. My friend, who I must confess is a complete MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig), stated that there is a need by the college administration to enforce a strict dress-code for girls. From here on, the dialogue went on as follows:
Me: Why only for girls, why not for all?
My Friend: See. This is the problem. You girls give each issue a gender connotation.
Me: I’m giving it a gender connotation?
MF: Of course. You are acting like a true feminist. What dress code can be enforced for guys? It has to be for girls only.
Me: All I’m saying is that a politically correct statement must be made. The rule-book must say, “Students are not allowed to wear shorts in classes” instead of, “Girls are not allowed to wear shorts in classes.”
MF: There is no need for that. Guys anyway don’t wear shorts to classes.
At this point, I had amused exclamation marks (use your imagination) running in my head. Till date, even girls were not wearing shorts to classes. What was the guarantee that in future guys won’t break the rule either? And what was the harm in enforcing a unisex rule anyway? I asked him this.
MF: That is not the point. The problem is that you girls have to complicate everything. You have to give gender connotations when none are required. There is nothing wrong in what I am saying.
Me: but I don’t see anything wrong in what I am saying either. Both guys and girls must be given equal treatment.
Now, in our hostel, the ground floor belongs to the girls while 4 floors above it are for guys. And a few days back, an issue had risen in our hostel that both the washing machines are on the guys’ floors, which we (girls) don’t find comfortable. So one of the machines was shifted to our floor. Guys were unhappy about it because going by numbers, they had more strength and hence needed to use the machine more often than us. They said that one machine wasn’t sufficient for them, and they definitely couldn’t come to our floor to wash their clothes. Discussions/ arguments regarding the same are still on. And my dear friend used this opportunity to bring this topic up.
MF: You girls always do that. On the one hand you talk about equality, and on the other, you take unfair advantage of your being girls. If you believe in equality so much then why did you get the washing machine shifted to your floor? You also know that going by number logic, the machines must be on 1st and 3rd floor so that everybody has equal approachability.
Me: I agree that logically speaking the machines should be on 1st and 3rd floor. But yaar, we have a hard time washing our clothes on your floors. The other day when I went up to wash my clothes, there were these guys in the corridor, who were totally drunk. I didn’t feel comfortable.
MF: see, you cannot bring this up. If you are talking about equality, you have to keep this topic aside.
This was all I needed to hear. I got all flared up. I gave him a hard stare and said this is not an issue to be “kept aside”. But he insisted that if we “supported” equality, we must do it completely and not hide behind the garb of sexual harassment every time.
Hide behind the garb! That is what guys think we do? They believe it is unreal! And that, when they themselves are guilty of doing it. How many times have their butts been pinched while they were window-shopping? How many of them have been groped in buses and trains? Do they have any idea how shocking, humiliating, embarrassing it is? Do they realize how it makes us feel every time something like this happens to us? Are they not aware of the fact that absolutely every girl has gone through a hundred traumas of different levels. Yes, I repeat, absolutely every girl. Some of us, from when were too young to understand what it meant. I can’t forget how horrified I was when 20-somethings pinched the nipples on my 8 year old body in that crowded market. Every face, every smell, every shop, every corridor is forever printed on my mind. And even now, when I think of it 18 years later, I’m filled with disgust and hatred for those two guys. I only hope they are dead and rotting in hell.
And he says we must keep this issue aside and then talk about equality. He says we are hypocrites to have separate seats on buses for women. He says we don’t have the guts to stand up against it and fight it.
I’ll see who he thinks must stand up against whom when his wife and daughter are being groped and rubbed on roads and public transports. And I’ll see how easily he lets go when a tattooed fat man breathes down his neck and kisses him against his wishes.
Till date, I used to think there are two categories of bad men:
1. The ones who do bad things
2. The ones who think bad things
I used to think that the rest, who don’t fall in any of the above two categories, though very few in number, are good. But today I realized that they are bad too. And what category do they fall under?
3. The ones who don’t care
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